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Bill Gates dies in a car accident
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being
sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm
not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously
helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet
you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've
never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want
to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter
said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help
your decision."
- "Fine, but where should I go first?" - "I'll leave that up to you."
- "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.
It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad
women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter.
"If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm.
I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter. "Fine," retorted St. Peter,
"as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled
to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and
tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This
is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water ???
"That was a demo"" replied St. Peter
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